While I had made the decision to divorce my ex before this—and even discussed it with her a few months prior—the point of no return was crossed on 6th January 2022. I didn’t exactly plan it to be on the one year anniversary of another, more famous so-called insurrection, but that’s exactly how it happened.
I call it an insurrection for one simple reason: I finally decided to take the reigns of my life. I had spent too many years ceding far too many decisions to my now ex wife. I was miserable because she was “fine with the way things are” and had no desire to even speak about our lack of relationship, much less do anything to improve it.
With the actions I took on 6th January 2022, I knew there was no going back. And, unfortunately, the kids participated in some of the activities that occurred that evening, which includes the theft and destruction of personal property. They took a clear position on a conflict they had no business being involved with.
I have since learned what my ex wife is. There was nothing I could have done to change what she is or the ultimate trajectory of our relationship. There will be no accountability for the years of neglect or the poisoning of our children against me. There will only be her receiving spousal support until November 1st, 2027.
There is one thing she will eventually have to account for. All I will say about it is: everything I claimed in my 2021 and 2022 taxes is in accordance with the tax laws and can be backed up with appropriate documentation, including the court order she violated when she filed her taxes last year.
Charlie Sheen and many others have been quoted as saying something along the lines of “I don’t pay them for sex, I pay them to leave.” She got paid bigly to leave. Had I spent the money on hookers and blow instead, at least I would have gotten laid more than a handful of times over nearly 25 years of marriage.
As for the kids, they clearly sided with her and made no attempt to get my side of the story. Further, it’s now clear that any attempt to communicate with my children will probably be…refused.
The letter was refused on the boy’s birthday. Interestingly enough, the letter I sent “disappeared” for several weeks and re-appeared…and was resent…and refused again.
Who refused this letter not once, but twice? I can’t tell based on the envelope, which I finally got back on September 2nd. Whether it’s my ex or the boy himself, it doesn’t really matter. Message received.
While the reasons for estrangement were very different, I went through this with my own parents. A dominant parent—particularly one who is a narcissist—can define your view of the other parent. My mom’s narrative of my dad persisted until it was far too late.
The kids will seek the truth in their own time. If they are anything like I was, it’ll be a decade or more before they decide to reach out. I’ll be ready for them.